WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

This is the simplest and most basic question that everyone asks everyone when they meet the first time. Per se there is nothing wrong with the question but still; I cringe when someone asks me this dreaded question. The reason is once you answer this question, automatically a few assumptions are made about you. Like saying Mumbai, Chennai, Bangalore, Kerala, Amritsar, Shillong, Haridwar, Benaras, Delhi, Kolkata, Nagaland, Srinagar, Jaipur and (god forbid) Patna or Ranchi…each one of them creates a unique image in my mind. And it is sort of true. People from a certain place have certain specific characteristics. Food they like, the way they speak, the way they live and even the way they think.

Now. I was born in Haridwar when my father was posted at Dehradoon. So technically only my birth was in Haridwar (The holy city) but growing up, the first birthday and all was in Dehradoon. Then I have faint memories of staying at Mhow and Pathankot respectively. At Mhow it was a total of 6months divided into 3months twice. In between somewhere Dad was in Poonch (where we would go in vacations) and we at Haridwar. At Pathankot it was about 3-4months. Though we dint stay at these places for long but I attended primary schools everywhere. Followed by Dholpur where we stayed for almost 4years up till half 4^th standard. After that papa went to Dras and we went to Haridwar for about a year. Half 4^th class and half 5^th class. Then our most favorite place Jaipur. A tenure of 5 long years(3+2). Half 5^th class and a little bit 11^th class. We then shifted to Kanchrapara where I stayed for about 2years completing 12^th standard and then moved onto Bombay. Now I am staying here since about 3 years, finished college while my family has come to Deolali and are awaiting the next movement order. I have stayed in more places than you have visited. And most of these places people don’t know exist.

So when someone asks me Where are you from? What should I say?

‘Please take a seat. Sit back and relax. This may take a while.’

I prefer sticking to the answer my parents have taught me since I learnt to speak. ‘I am from Haridwar’. Because –

1. This is simpler
2. This is where I was born and this is where my dada-dadi stay. So technically correct.

Now to be honest, when I was small (about the age when we get embarrassed by a lot of things easily) I did not like the image that Haridwar creates in the mind. (a spell check for haridwar offers suggestion hardware and hardwire) I longed for something more hep…sorta…Yo Cool man. But after all these years I have become quite at ease with it and really like the city. The thing that still bothers me is – though I was born there but I don’t belong there. How can I ‘be from’ a place I go once a year for half a month. Moreover my grandparents or father weren’t born or brought up there. For convenience sakes they settled there. Moms side is somewhat stable. She has stayed all her life in Meerut but the offspring’s are supposed to belong to the place their father belongs to. And anyways Meerut doesn’t sound cool either (but it is recognized by the MS Office dictionary!!)

Another thing is, racism. Not the i-got-beaten-with-sticks sorta racism but the subtle one. Since I have come to Bombay, I am particularly apprehensive about saying ‘I belong to UP’. Not because the MNS workers or Shiv Saniks (are they same or different??) would come and beat me up. But the normal people, the general people shoot up an eyebrow and go ‘uhhh…UP. Like UP-Bihar Bhiaya’. 3years ago “bhaiya” for me, was a completely normal endearing term used for elder brothers, shopkeepers, servants, helpers or other miscellaneous males. Simple and sweet. Respectful. Here in Bombay it is almost offensive. I was instructed by Mausi – Mausa (who I stay with here) to be careful not to call someone Bhaiya. Ok. So what do I say? Uncle? Excuse me? Boss? Hero? Eyy..? or make various sounds with my tongue and teeth to call someone? Thankfully I have never fallen into trouble (Yet) But I feel so irritated when people consider UP-Bihar the same. HOW?? I mean how can they be the same? They are neighboring states so maybe the eastern part of UP could be a lot similar to Bihar. But I am talking about Haridwar. That’s the northern part. Infact its not even a part of UP now. We have our separate state Uttarakhand (created in 2000 and known as Uttaranchal till 2007 which by the way sounds a lot better than Uttarakhand).

If you tell me you are from Bombay, how will you feel if I say “oh Bombay??like south india..Chhennayi madras…illaa?” But NO. I wouldn’t do that. I have studied political boundaries in geography. And for all those people who haven’t, here is a map of India.