Archive | February, 2011

How to Propose a girl. And a boy.

8 Feb

The proposal –




In case you are wondering….


Her response –


Subway – The new McD

6 Feb

Lately I have been preferring Subway over Mc Donalds. Sure there are days when you have to have Mc Veggie, fries and coke but then there are also days when you wana dig your teeth into a big juicy sandwich. Maybe it turns out to be a little expensive comparatively, but I believe its healthier. I love the customization they allow. And the best part – they don’t charge you for every little thing. Mc Donalds has this very bad habit of charging extra for everything. They don’t even deliver for free. Who doesn’t do free home delivery now a days?!

Subway and I are foes turned into friends. The very first time I went to Subway was about 3 years ago. The time when jalapenos was jalapenos and not alapenos. It was scary because there were so many options. Also I was used to the system of being charged extra for everything. So I just ordered whatever my classmate (who was with me that time) ordered. It was not tasty. And messy. And the mess was embarrassing.

Very recently they have put up the 1-5 steps or ordering a subway. Good relief for people like me. Especially so because the employees there talk only in fast English. Never mind the Marathi twang that makes it impossible to understand. My very good friend and co-blogger taught me “How to order a Subway”. It was trial and error method that needed practice and patience. I can now tell the breads and sauces from one another. Very cool. Also cool is the Sub of the day. Tuesday Thursday and Sunday  are the only veg days. You get a 6” Subway sandwich for Rs.75 which would normally cost you anything between 100-150. Neat.

Now I can even ask someone to pick up a sub for me and belt out very specific instructions : 6” Parmesan Oregano, no cheese (saves 10 freaking bucks plus sounds health conscious), lettuce-tomato-cucumber-more pickles-capsicum-olives-red onions-more jalapenos, mayonnaise-southwest-very little sweet onion-little mustard-mint and sometimes curd and pepper.

Portions are pretty damn good and they throw in the extras wherever you ask. Satisfying and wholesome. No frilly coke cookie salad chips blah blah. All these are very very overpriced. Actually I want to try the salads some time.Needless to say, I go on the above mentioned days only. The fulfilling feeling of opening the mouth as much as you can, biting into the juicy sandwich, the veggies falling out from everywhere… And thinking you paid only Rs.75 for all this sweetness. Muaaaaah.

So next time you are coming to meet me, please pick up a sub on your way :)

Sheila ki ye wali jawani…

2 Feb

You have seen Katrina the Sheila,  ki jawani but have you seen this Sheila’s Jawani?????!


Auto Wala

1 Feb


I have come across ao many kinds of Auto wala’s here in Bombay, day after day every day….Basically the rickshaw wallas are of two types – The Marathi manoos & The UP-Bihari or the bhaiya.I guess Marathi ‘taxi drivers’ are more common so you come across the second category more often.

Catching an auto is not as simple as it looks. First you have to know where exactly to stand in case of crowded areas. Then you need to lie about the destination very carefully. If you are the lucky one, the journey starts. Finally comes the part of parting with the money.

At sometime all of us have encountered most of these fellows….

Stage 1 : Station chaloge??

1. The unstoppable – won’t stop anywhere or for anyone who committed the mistake of desiring an auto. His pleasure is in teasing people with an empty auto.

2. The surveyor – will slowly drive through the crowd listening to every ones request, but will ultimately leave without taking anyone. His sole duty is to collect statistical data about where people want to go the most. At times he might just take in that one lucky person who happens to ask for the destination the surveyor is headed to.

3. First come first serve – is the kind everyone likes. He says yes to whoever asks first. No fuss about the destination either. Pure service at heart.

4. The creative artist – has amazing excuses for not taking you on board. Mujhe toh west mein jana hai – gas nahi hai utna door jane ke liye – khana khane jaa rha ho – rasta nai pata – break fail ho gya hai – meter kharab hai – uss side bohot traffic jaam hai.

5. Long distance communicator – he who refuses from a mile away .Even before you dare to open your mouth or even come in an audible radius, he starts shaking his head vigorously refusing to take anyone. May be he is just out there on a drive and his drive happens to be an auto.

6. The sexist – he refuses to men but takes in the women. I understand it must be very frustrating for the other sex. But that is just how the world is.

Stage 2 : The cruise

1. Slow and steady wins the race – you have heard about the “The tortoise and the rabbit”. This one believes in the old saying and drives accordingly. You will meet him whenever you are getting late.

2. Speed racer – his heart belongs to Nascar league. Simply put, he’s the killer on the road. Test the limit of the speedo meter, sway and cut, twist and turn, overtake, curse and basically a thrilling roller coaster ride. Full Paisa vasool.

3. DJ on wheels – spends time and money pimping his ride. LEDs, lights, mirrors, velvet upholstery, sexy pictures and woofers blasting everything from Munni to Akon to Bhojpuri folk. Full dhinkchak! Fun usually but sometimes not.

4. The curious cat – he starts with a simple deceiving question like ‘time kya hua hai?’ You answer and 5 minutes later you regret. You have fallen into a spiral of conversation that no amount of monosyllabic talking can put an end to. All sorts of questions about yourself or general commentary. Mostly irritating but can be enlightening too. Friends have told me about this one fellow who told them about his private life. Then there was one who turned out to be an emotional guy who did not take money because the passenger was a native of the someplace near the auto walla’s village. How sweet! The ‘I am a fauji’s child’ has also worked for some. So he can actually be cool.

5. Con – will take you in and half way through will ask if you know the way further. If you do, no sweat. But if you don’t, be prepared to walk home with a super slim wallet; more so after the increased fares. He shall take full advantage of your ignorance and take the longest route to earn the max he can. Scary.

6. The angel – just the opposite of the con is the angel who knows all the shortcuts. He will swerve through galli’s you cant reach by foot. Will make you suspicious and worried but you will thank the messiah when you reach the destination before the anticipated time.

Stage 3 : Kitna hua???

1. The generous one – he lets go one two or sometimes even three rupees if you don’t have change. Lot of times I lie about not having change and save 2-3 bucks so that I don’t have to suffer when I the meet the number 2 category.

2. Change do sahib whatever be the fare, this guy never, I repeat Never, has change. Not for 10 not for 20 not for 50. Don’t even dream about 100! Because of him you have to buy cholrmint, happydent and what not. Ugghh!

3. Kanjoos makkhi choos – won’t leave even 50 paise. If you don’t have change; he will have change.  For every currency note for every coin. He carries it all in a pouch. He will even give 9 rupees back from a tenner.

4. Meter rigger – impossible to catch before the damage is done. He rigs the meter so it runs fast and he makes extrrra cash. Unfortunately you won’t know it happened until it happens.