Auto Wala

1 Feb


I have come across ao many kinds of Auto wala’s here in Bombay, day after day every day….Basically the rickshaw wallas are of two types – The Marathi manoos & The UP-Bihari or the bhaiya.I guess Marathi ‘taxi drivers’ are more common so you come across the second category more often.

Catching an auto is not as simple as it looks. First you have to know where exactly to stand in case of crowded areas. Then you need to lie about the destination very carefully. If you are the lucky one, the journey starts. Finally comes the part of parting with the money.

At sometime all of us have encountered most of these fellows….

Stage 1 : Station chaloge??

1. The unstoppable – won’t stop anywhere or for anyone who committed the mistake of desiring an auto. His pleasure is in teasing people with an empty auto.

2. The surveyor – will slowly drive through the crowd listening to every ones request, but will ultimately leave without taking anyone. His sole duty is to collect statistical data about where people want to go the most. At times he might just take in that one lucky person who happens to ask for the destination the surveyor is headed to.

3. First come first serve – is the kind everyone likes. He says yes to whoever asks first. No fuss about the destination either. Pure service at heart.

4. The creative artist – has amazing excuses for not taking you on board. Mujhe toh west mein jana hai – gas nahi hai utna door jane ke liye – khana khane jaa rha ho – rasta nai pata – break fail ho gya hai – meter kharab hai – uss side bohot traffic jaam hai.

5. Long distance communicator – he who refuses from a mile away .Even before you dare to open your mouth or even come in an audible radius, he starts shaking his head vigorously refusing to take anyone. May be he is just out there on a drive and his drive happens to be an auto.

6. The sexist – he refuses to men but takes in the women. I understand it must be very frustrating for the other sex. But that is just how the world is.

Stage 2 : The cruise

1. Slow and steady wins the race – you have heard about the “The tortoise and the rabbit”. This one believes in the old saying and drives accordingly. You will meet him whenever you are getting late.

2. Speed racer – his heart belongs to Nascar league. Simply put, he’s the killer on the road. Test the limit of the speedo meter, sway and cut, twist and turn, overtake, curse and basically a thrilling roller coaster ride. Full Paisa vasool.

3. DJ on wheels – spends time and money pimping his ride. LEDs, lights, mirrors, velvet upholstery, sexy pictures and woofers blasting everything from Munni to Akon to Bhojpuri folk. Full dhinkchak! Fun usually but sometimes not.

4. The curious cat – he starts with a simple deceiving question like ‘time kya hua hai?’ You answer and 5 minutes later you regret. You have fallen into a spiral of conversation that no amount of monosyllabic talking can put an end to. All sorts of questions about yourself or general commentary. Mostly irritating but can be enlightening too. Friends have told me about this one fellow who told them about his private life. Then there was one who turned out to be an emotional guy who did not take money because the passenger was a native of the someplace near the auto walla’s village. How sweet! The ‘I am a fauji’s child’ has also worked for some. So he can actually be cool.

5. Con – will take you in and half way through will ask if you know the way further. If you do, no sweat. But if you don’t, be prepared to walk home with a super slim wallet; more so after the increased fares. He shall take full advantage of your ignorance and take the longest route to earn the max he can. Scary.

6. The angel – just the opposite of the con is the angel who knows all the shortcuts. He will swerve through galli’s you cant reach by foot. Will make you suspicious and worried but you will thank the messiah when you reach the destination before the anticipated time.

Stage 3 : Kitna hua???

1. The generous one – he lets go one two or sometimes even three rupees if you don’t have change. Lot of times I lie about not having change and save 2-3 bucks so that I don’t have to suffer when I the meet the number 2 category.

2. Change do sahib whatever be the fare, this guy never, I repeat Never, has change. Not for 10 not for 20 not for 50. Don’t even dream about 100! Because of him you have to buy cholrmint, happydent and what not. Ugghh!

3. Kanjoos makkhi choos – won’t leave even 50 paise. If you don’t have change; he will have change.  For every currency note for every coin. He carries it all in a pouch. He will even give 9 rupees back from a tenner.

4. Meter rigger – impossible to catch before the damage is done. He rigs the meter so it runs fast and he makes extrrra cash. Unfortunately you won’t know it happened until it happens.


One Response to “Auto Wala”

  1. Aparna February 2, 2011 at 2:46 am #

    Blog makes interesting reading.Gud entertainment and real life experience.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: